Marriage or Couples Counseling
Are you looking for that silver lining in the dark cloud hanging over your marriage or relationship?
If you are like most couples I see at Phoenix Men’s Counseling, you’re likely struggling and maybe even feeling desperate due to the destructive patterns in your marriage or relationship.
You can’t seem to break out of these negative patters of relating. The more you try, the more it seems like you create more hurt, damage and pain to each other in the process.
Many couples who seek a couples counselor find themselves at the end of their ropes, and know they can’t afford to overlook their problems anymore.
They usually wait to search for marriage therapists when they are afraid they may lose their relationship.
If this sounds like you, you likely are here because you want to …
“(Jason) was able to show us the problems with how we communicate and relate to each other. I realize that my process was part of the problem and was able to change my behavior accordingly. My partner did the same, and we are now able to communicate openly and honestly. We have learned so much about each other that we didn't find out in four years of knowing each other.”
Save your marriage.
You value your marriage or relationship more than anything, and you’re willing to do what it takes to repair it, but you’re tired of the back-and-forth fighting and feeling hopeless. I understand.
Many times, couples resort to pushing aside issues, or not talking about the problems because bringing them up leads to constant fighting or escalation. Or, one partner wants to deal with them, and the other doesn’t.
Since you are here reading my marriage counseling page, you might find that you’re starting to change your thinking from “I can handle it,” to “it’s not going to fix itself and go away,” because things are likely only getting worse.
If you’re looking to better communicate with your partner, and want to feel closer, more connected and happier together, and don’t know how, you’ve come to the right place.
I’m a couples counselor who works with couples just like you.
You want to feel heard, seen, and appreciated, and currently don’t. You want to bring back the feelings you shared for each other when you first met, when times were easier and happier.
If you or your partner can relate to any of these, you can likely benefit from couples therapy:
- Have difficulty breaking the vicious cycle of arguing or fighting, and not talking about it
- Feel like roommates, rather than lovers
- Resent each other for all the hurtful things that have happened
- Feel alone and not getting the understanding or support you need
- Want more connection, but feel miles apart
- Constantly breaking up or threatening to end your marriage or relationship
- Have given up on trying to resolve the problems between each other, and now ignore the issues altogether
- Feel frustrated, helpless and afraid that your relationship can’t continue this way
If your marriage needs rescuing from the risk of separation or divorce, couples therapy can help.
When it seems like you have impossible barriers to communication, couples counseling is often the only thing that help. It can help you feel more connected, and not have to resort to fighting, arguing or bickering.
Maybe you also want to feel more sexually connected to your partner. Counseling can help with that, too. Create a more fulfilling sex life together, instead of resorting to a disappointing, avoidant or mechanical one.
Sexual problems often stem from deeper emotional or relationship issues. Couples often can’t see or fully understand these problems and, consequently, they end up playing out in the bedroom. These sexual problems create conflict on top of the original conflict, and then it’s confusing to know which came first.
Pornography abuse can also come between you and a healthy sex life. When this happens, I can help steer you back to being sexually excited about your wife or girlfriend, and not just online images of women.
I know that mens’ anger often pushes their partners away from them. I understand that men tend to try to problem-solve, or shut down and want to be alone. Often, his wife or girlfriend wants him to open up more, only to find him further retreating. Sometimes, men retreat to depression, which creates other problems and sets them up to be the “identified patient” and the sole problem in the marriage.
Because I specialize in providing therapy to men, I understand the unique issues confronting guys in relationships, and bring that knowledge to the couples therapy setting.
I work with men in relationship counseling to express their emotions, and let their partner in past their emotional walls and barriers.
I work with women in couples therapy to feel connected to their husband or boyfriend, create better communication and understand how to get through to their guy past his emotional walls.
I also help couples repair broken trust when an affair has occurred or when it looks like it might. Many times, lying, cheating or communicating with other women destroys the trusting bond between partners. Couples counseling can help identify where the trust has been compromised, and work to repair and rebuild it.
Don’t make things worse by falling into the “cat-and-mouse” game like so many couples do in dealing with infidelity, and try to catch your mate in the act by snooping through their cell phone or email. Prevent the damage by choosing relationship therapy instead.
Other problems where couples counseling can help:
- Money disputes or financial infidelity (out of control spending/hiding debt)
- Jealousy issues; flirting or talking with other women
- Work-life balancing between job, marriage and raising kids
- Parenting or co-parenting issues
- When one partner is depressed or unmotivated
- Partying or substance use problems, including alcohol and drug abuse
- Problems with one of your families’ interfering in your marriage
- Divorce or breakup counseling when you have both given up
- Specializing in EFT, or Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy
It’s never too late to turn your relationship around if you still want to be together.
Benefits to marriage counseling:
- Heal the pain and commit to creating a better relationship starting now
- Repair conflict by pinpointing negative cycles or patterns before they start
- Feel closer together with a deeper connection
- Finally get the support you need from your partner where you feel listened to and understood
- Better understand each other’s feelings and needs so that you feel more fulfilled
- Create a more fulfilling sex life
- Rebuild broken trust and re-establish your love for one another
Not only can you turn around the negative effects of the harm done to your marriage or relationship, you can experience a better relationship or marriage from when you first came in. You can actually start having longer, more meaningful conversations with your partner, something that would have been hard to do before couples counseling.
You can enjoy the bond and connection in a long-term way that vacations or trips together might provide in a limited way for you now. When you identify your own negative cycle or pattern, you can more easily step out of it and repair problems in a fraction of the time than what it used to take. Your partner will be more responsive to you in a way you’ve been waiting for all along.
You’ll also not feel like you’re unsettled, and like you need to get out of your marriage or relationship because it’s too painful for you. You’ll experience the ease and trust, and feel settled with your partner knowing that they’re there for you. You’ll be able to risk sharing new things with your mate and know they’ll be there to hear you, and give you the support that you need.