Infidelity Counseling
Infidelity impacts your relationship.
Is infidelity and lying breaking the trust in your marriage or relationship? Have you been caught cheating or flirting with other women, and are you worried that your marriage or relationship will end? Have you started an emotional affair with a coworker, friend or another woman? Cheating or infidelity can destroy an otherwise good marriage or relationship. Lying about it only adds fuel to the fire.
You both struggle in your own ways. She’s filled with distrust, pain and anger; you’re feeling guilty, ashamed and powerless to turn your relationship around. You don’t know how to help your wife or girlfriend get past the pain of your unfaithfulness, and no solution seems to work.
And because she’s worried that you’re still being unfaithful, she’s constantly checking your phone for texts and emails from other women — and consequently, you’re distrusting her. So you try to prove you aren’t still cheating, and constantly reassure her you love her and will never have an affair again, but you feel that it’s not enough. She doesn’t trust you, and it’s wreaking havoc in your marriage.
Maybe you haven’t actually betrayed your partner by engaging in a sexual relationship, but you’re heading that way with flirting or other inappropriate behaviors. You might be encouraging other women, even if it doesn’t yet turn physical or sexual. Some men find themselves developing close female friendships at work that then lead to a physical attraction, or a sexual or emotional affair.
Common warning signs associated with infidelity:
Flirting with other women such that it creates a problem in your marriage or relationship
Feeling guilty knowing you shouldn’t be encouraging other women, yet still doing it
Feeling deprived of emotional satisfaction or feeling unappreciated in your primary relationship
Wanting attention or affirmation from women who aren’t your relationship partner
Downplaying or rationalizing your close interactions with other women as “friendly” or “not problematic”
Constantly thinking or fantasizing about other women who aren’t your wife or girlfriend
Whether you’re flirting with other women, thinking about cheating, or have already had one or multiple affairs, I can help.
Infidelity doesn’t need to end your relationship.
Many couples have learned to recover, rebuild trust and move on from infidelity. It’s normal to think about other women, and to fantasize about being with other people. You’re human. It only becomes a problem when you start to act on it. You’re attracted to people on all sides and, sometimes, the temptation may seem out of control. I can work with you if you feel like your need to cheat is out of your control, and that you can’t stop it.
According to a YouGov poll, 21% of men and 19% of women admitted that they had cheated on their partners. A lot of guys struggle with emotional affairs, cheating and infidelity. You’re not alone. These guys try to do what they can to end the affair, block their affair partner, and reestablish trust, but often end up needing more help. Infidelity counseling can help you sort out conflicting feelings, and allow you to make decisions to support yourself, your wife and your family. Therapy can help you identify reasons for your “wandering eyes,” and will allow you to work through them so they don’t control you and your marriage anymore.
Infidelity counseling can improve your relationship.
As your therapist, I want to work with you to save your marriage from the brink of divorce, and teach you to develop the critical relationship skills that will prevent further infidelity and betrayals. You love your partner, and you want to make it work, but you’re frustrated with the current situation within your marriage. I understand how hard this can be. Let’s work together to turn these negative relationship patterns around for you.
Yes, cheating is about the sex, but it’s more than just that. Working in infidelity counseling with me, we’ll explore the main reasons you’ve been unfaithful, or begun straying at the expense of your relationship. We’ll uncover why it’s more than just feeling sexually satisfied by other women, and identify the other unstated needs that might be driving your behavior. For example, maybe you’re unhappy in your marriage or you feel more comfortable when you’re not fully engaged with your partner. Or, perhaps you’re angry at your spouse and want to punish her. Or maybe you don’t know how to have a relationship without sabotaging it.
In therapy or couples counseling, we’ll get to the root of your infidelity, and solve the problems once and for all. If you want to keep your primary relationship, you’ll have to stop betraying her. You’ll have to build trust with her again, by learning to listen more intently rather than fixing or trying to solve problems. You’ll need to learn to get the attention, affection or validation you want from your wife directly, instead of seeking it from other women. We can will consider ways to do this without conflict avoidance, withdrawing or shutting down and failing to express your wants and needs directly.
I bring over 20 years of experience working with men who have struggled with cheating, and helping them overcome barriers and achieve the kinds of relationships they truly want. I will help you feel more comfortable about sensitive issues with privacy and discretion. As your therapist, I want to help you feel more secure about your marriage or primary relationship, and to build the skills to become the loyal and loving partner you want to be.
YOU MAY HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT INFIDELITY COUNSELING.
“I’m scared that if I start counseling, things in my marriage might get worse, which would lead to a divorce.”
After infidelity, trust needs to be repaired, and your spouse or significant other may require time for healing. We’re not in control of others and what they choose to do or not do, but we will work as effectively as we can to direct you to the best possible outcome. In infidelity counseling, we will work on the issues you can control to fix your relationship situation, and talk about ways to facilitate the healing for your partner or spouse.
“We’ve tried couples therapy in the past. Why would working with you be different?"
I work especially with the needs of men, and understand the psychology behind why men cheat, and how to help men grow and strengthen their marriage rather than undermine their relationship. We’ll find out why you’re doing what you’re doing, and work with you to develop better self-awareness so you no longer feel compelled to engage in those destructive behaviors.
“I don’t want to just stop cheating. I want to strengthen my marriage.”
I work with clients on all aspects of infidelity prevention. We’ll work to strengthen your relationship and finally get you and your partner’s needs met in your marriage. You’ll feel easier and happier around your wife, and reconcile the problems that got you here in the first place.
Marriages and relationships can heal.
Affair counseling can help you feel happier, more connected and more engaged with your wife or girlfriend, while helping you stop engaging with other women. Contact us to ask about your unique infidelity situation. I’d like to chat to see how I can help you.
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