If She Explodes in Anger On You… Here’s 5 Quick Things To Do

Here’s some ideas about what to do if your girl explodes in a seething rage on you.

1. Don’t leave the scene. Although guys have the tendency to freak out, or leave, or both, I would advise you against this decision. Stay, and let her have her anger. Don’t take it personally so quick, because you’ll react in a way that you’re probably not conscious of. Hang in there.

2. If you’re having a reaction, such as feeling scared of her anger, or feeling angry yourself, say that to her. It will flush it out of you, and it will allow her to recognize it in herself. It may open up the conversation at the critical point where most conversation will go south. You can change the course of it yourself, and not have to succumb to sleeping on the couch this week.

3. Hang in there and listen. Actively listen, and see what is going on with her. It may not be anger. It may be a host of other things, such as not feeling seen, heard, validated, loved, etc. Women are mysterious creatures, and it is very possible that something else is going on with her, that may or may not be related to what you did. Again, remember – it is her anger, and the less you fall into it and react to it, the more perspective you will have on the conflict to help yourself and slice the amount of time battling in half.

4. Don’t apologize just to apologize – then you look like a chump. If you’re truly sorry, wait a little bit of time until the conversation progresses, and then take ownership for what you brought to the conflict. But, just to apologize for its own sake, and too early, will make you look insincere, and might make her more mad.

5. Take a breather if you need to from each other, but come back and finish out the conflict in, say, ten minutes or so. Don’t let it go, and neglect it – it will just fester if it stays unattended to.

Oh, and check this post out. It relates to this topic, about better communication tips form me to you:

http://phoenixmenscounseling.com/blog/2008/09/07/say-what-you-mean-and-mean-what-you-say/

About Jason

As "The Man That Men Will Talk To," Jason Fierstein, MA, LPC is a private practice counselor and psychotherapist for men and couples in the greater Phoenix, Arizona, area. He works with struggling men to find happiness in their lives, and with their wives.
This entry was posted in Anger and Stress, Healthy Marriages and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *