I think one of the reasons that we avoid our feelings, and, consequently, avoid our lives, is because what our minds think they will find when they get to the “darkness” of our emotions is much worse that the actual experience of having our emotional experience – as it comes up in the present moment.
The present moment is an enemy of the mind. The mind continues to elude and avoid the present moment (read any of Eckhart Tolle’s books for more clarification on this). The mind’s fuel for all this is provided early on, when, as children, we learn the tools that we never let go of to navigate issues and problems. We are trying to solve adult problems with children’s tools. They just don’t work.
Tools like trying to out-think a problem, avoiding the issue or one’s feelings, laughing to avoid the problem, and a thousand other distractions keep us from the essence of our suffering, the energy behind all of the elaborate problems that we encounter, and, disappointingly, create for ourselves.
So, because I work in the present moment, I help men get in touch with those places that they are scared to go. Most of the time, they are too busy using their outdated childrens’ tools, and don’t know that they need to tackle the problem with something else (more modernized versions). That something else has to do with working with the problem through the present moment. A lot of the work is do is observing, pointing out, exaggerating things I see, giving feedback about what I see being done in this very moment. I just have to pay very close attention to what I see unfolding before me, and try to not get in the way.