Men, alcohol, and relationship problems

For couples already in relationship crisis, alcohol can fuel the fire pretty quickly. If there are problems already underlying a relationship or marriage, alcohol can surely make everything worse.

For men, who can often binge drink for drink to excess, alcohol takes the lid off of our emotions, which are usually held in check in our sober lives. Men have a difficult time dealing with emotions already, and alcohol has an effect of drudging up those negative emotions, bringing them to the surface, and amplifying them under the influence of alcohol. If we have repressed emotions or thoughts concerning our relationship partner, alcohol gives us the freedom to express those in a big way, often to the dismay of our partner.

What’s worse, when those unexpressed emotions or thoughts do come out at a relationship partner, it’s usually in a social setting, such as at a party, a bar, or another place that would generally be inappropriate to hash it all out. Furthermore, we are not in the right state of mind to have an argument–were not thinking clearly, and were inebriated and irrational. There can be no good that comes from an argument or fight under the influence of alcohol, yet most couples get into fighting when they’re drunk. This is making a bad situation worse.

Being able to communicate and talk about the problems between you and your partner is very important, so as those issues that have been repressed or not talked about don’t spring open when you people been drinking together. The point of drinking together is to enjoy each other’s company and have fun, not to open up the powder keg and start drunk fighting in front of all your friends. learning to identify and work through the problems in an ongoing way, so they don’t build up and come out only when you both were drinking, is certainly a way to help de-pressurize the relationship problems between you and your loved one. Limiting the amount of alcohol that you both consume together is also going to help, or simply having an understanding before you go out drinking about how much you’re going to drink so there’s no surprises.


About Jason

As "The Man That Men Will Talk To," Jason Fierstein, MA, LPC is a private practice counselor and psychotherapist for men and couples in the greater Phoenix, Arizona, area. He works with struggling men to find happiness in their lives, and with their wives.
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2 Responses to Men, alcohol, and relationship problems

  1. Ruth says:

    If there is a problem between a couple, talking it over is the only solution as you can get to know what one is thinking or how they are feeling. Alcohol will only make the problem worse. You will find this magazine helpful.

    breathe again magazine

  2. Jason says:

    Hi Ruth. Alcohol usually does have a way of throwing fuel on the fire, you’re right. I will check out your magazine.

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