Going Single Is Great. Isn’t It?

If you listen to your friends, you would think that life after a breakup or divorce would be utopia. No one to be responsible to, plenty of available women and opportunities, life just like it was back in college. If you listen to your friends advice, you would just end your relationship or marriage, and not have to deal with all the pain and suffering that comes from your wife or girlfriend.

So, going single would be great. Wouldn’t it? I mean, think about everything that you could do that you wouldn’t be able to in your current relationship.

This is fallacy thinking, and a lot of the men who are indecisive about whether they should stay or go in their current marriage or relationship often struggle with this one. If they were to listen to their close guy friends, the single guy friends who did and their marriages or relationships, you would think that life outside the relationship would be heavenly. It’s not. Your single friends were telling you to jump ship are not without their own relationship problems, and don’t let their limited advice sway you.

Life is knocking to be perfect if you and your current relationship. If you’re the kind of guy that avoids problems or withdrawals and hides from the issues that you both are dealing with, there’s no reason that it’s can I get any better if you’re single and carousing with single women. You’re going to stay stuck in a state of eternal singledom until you learn to deal with the issues at hand, and this would apply whether or not you’re in your current relationship or would be seeking another relationship in the future.

There are plenty of guys to stay eternally single, and those of the guys that I worry about most. These are the men who come up for whatever reason, stay stunted in their emotional and relationship development, and have a much harder time having a stable and secure relationship. That’s not going to be you, of course. Single guys deal with a whole host of issues, including loneliness, fear of committal, intimacy issues, and other relationship inhibiting factors that they may not even be aware of.

Commit yourself to staying in your current relationship, and working through the issues that need your immediate assistance. Sickout some professional help if you can do it on your own, and if you need to end the marriage or relationship, you can always do that at some point once you’ve discovered your true feelings and learned to deal with the problems head-on. You’ll be much happier, and wouldn’t live with the pain of regret if you jumped ship early to meet up with your single guy friends for a life of utopian carousing.


 

About Jason

As "The Man That Men Will Talk To," Jason Fierstein, MA, LPC is a private practice counselor and psychotherapist for men and couples in the greater Phoenix, Arizona, area. He works with struggling men to find happiness in their lives, and with their wives.
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3 Responses to Going Single Is Great. Isn’t It?

  1. In marriage counseling, I have seen many who have already decided to jump ship before they have given their troubled relationship a fair shot at succeeding. I try to remind people to not make decisions that are based on money alone. This can be easier said than done.

  2. Jason says:

    Thanks for your reply, Michael. It’s hard not to get bogged down and money issues, especially when couples counseling can be expensive for people. But I agree, you need to step out and see the big picture. What’s more expensive – the cost of couples therapy or the costs associated with a breakup or divorce?

  3. Counselling says:

    Couples therapy can help but the success of marriage depends in the efforts made by the couples and not by the marriage counselor.If problems are acted early it will be resolve early too.It won’t cause further damage in the relationship of couples.Money is not worth to become single again.

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