Ten Steps to a Healthy Marriage 

When it comes to being in a healthy marriage, it will depend on a number of factors that have to do with personalities, environment, work life, the time they have for each other, and so forth. However, different marriages exist happily for different reasons there are commonalities that allows two people to stay together for a long time.

While each married couple will develop their own standards that bring about happiness, there are some general traits that they find in common with each other. These particular traits can be shared and used by all married couples when it comes to finding a happier environment for their marriage.

Here are ten steps to living a healthy marriage that will help you and your spouse during the difficult times overcome challenges.


There is no doubt that a healthy, open line of communication is vital for the success of the marriage. This means that each spouse should feel comfortable talking to their partner about any subject. For married couples, this may be the most difficult aspect to keep open is the line of communication when it comes to all of their concerns. However, the feeling that you can go to your partner to discuss anything at anytime is vital to the success of a marriage.


Spending time together, particularly in the early days of your marriage is vital when it comes to forming a bond. This means planning date nights, getaways, and vacations together so that you can learn all about each other. The more time you can spend together, the better. There will come a time when you will feel more comfortable spending time apart, but at least in the first few years of a marriage you should really get to know each other so that you can make the most of it.


Trust is earned, not given even in the setting of marriage. This means that each partner has to demonstrate that they can be trusted on a number of levels which will usually occur over the first few years of the marriage. When you can trust your partner, it takes a great deal of the stress out of the marriage because you are not worried about them in their daily lives.


Learning how to negotiate is another vital part of marriage as both sides are not going to get everything that they want. The most important point is not to get too emotionally attached to whatever the negotiations are about. Once too much emotion comes into play, the negotiations start to break down and suddenly you find yourself with one unhappy person in the marriage. Instead, learn about how to negotiate so that you can protect the feelings of you and your partner.

Know Who You Are

This may seem a bit strange at first, but understanding who you are is a vital part of your marriage. This means that learning about yourself will help your partner know more about you. This means understanding your dreams, what makes you happy, as well as knowing your fears. The more you can discover about yourself, the more you can share with your partner which makes for a happier, healthier marriage.

Be Respectful of Each Other

Arguably one of the most extraordinary things in a marriage is how each partner will treat total strangers with respect and not each other. Showing respect for each other is a very important part of the marriage because it demonstrates your feelings towards your partner.

Work on Your Spiritual Connection

For those who want to enhance their spiritual side, this is a great way for you and your partner to explore the connection that it offers. By exploring your spiritual connection, you can form a greater bond that provides greater peace, understanding, and commitment. You can start by attending a church, mosque, or synagogue or you can get in touch with nature by spending more time outdoors and exploring the wonders of the world. You can even achieve it through combined meditation or conversation depending on your time commitment.

Explore and Create Common Interests

People have their own interests which develop over time for one reason or another. You should explore the interests that both of you have in common as well as creating new interests that both of you can share. Learning to do new things is one of the best pieces of marriage advice because it is something that both of you have in common while being respectful of the individual interest that each of you have.

Learn to Forgive

Human beings make mistakes and learning how to forgive each other is another vital part of marriage. Most of the time, the offenses will be small. However, there will be ones that are large and you will need to make the decision whether to forgive them of what they have done or not. If not, then the marriage is essentially over with at that point. So, if what your partner has done does not breach what is unforgivable, then forgive them and move on with your marriage.

Always Look for the Best in Each Other

A person is as good as they have proven to be over time which means that you should always look for the best in your partner. Watch out for changes in perspective as what you might have seen as a thrifty trait might now be seen as being cheap. By giving your partner the benefit of the doubt, you can create a better relationship and see the positives that each of you brings to the relationship. One way is to create a list of the things that you appreciate about your partner and watch as you fall in love all over again.

Learning how to receive marriage advice is another important step in the evolution of your partnership. If you feel the need for an outside viewpoint, then it is important for both of you to get some counseling in a venue that works for both of you.

About Jason

As "The Man That Men Will Talk To," Jason Fierstein, MA, LPC is a private practice counselor and psychotherapist for men and couples in the greater Phoenix, Arizona, area. He works with struggling men to find happiness in their lives, and with their wives.
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