Phoenix Men's Counseling

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How to Be a Supportive Partner

In times of stress, our partners' emotional support is the first resource we turn to. Research shows that the partner's support is key to relationship satisfaction for most people. Being supportive in a relationship is one of the cornerstones of building a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

Being a working mom and spouse can sometimes be challenging. Juggling between long working hours, doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, driving kids to school and activities, and other daily tasks usually leaves little room for self-care and "me time."

However, the past two years have made most women's lives much more challenging. Remote working, isolation, school closures, and a lack of social activities can be too much to bear for anyone.

Many women worked from home during the Covid pandemic, balancing their jobs, their kids' online lessons, and household tasks.

It’s not a secret that stress from accumulated pressures may lead to dissatisfaction, anxiety, and exhaustion.

What Can You Do to Help Your Partner?

Your spouse should not manage these challenges alone. There are many ways to provide emotional support and give her a helping hand with kids and housework.

Be Empathetic

Empathy represents our ability to understand and appropriately respond to the emotions of others. It involves emotional and mental responses to what other people are going through. This helps us understand how they are feeling.

Empathy is the foundation of all healthy relationships and is essential to emotional support. It makes you more caring and helps you understand your partner's thoughts, feelings, needs, and expectations.

Help Her Relax

Many working women find it hard to balance their work and personal lives, and they often have to give up their family time to meet the demands of their jobs.

An ongoing work-life imbalance may harm your spouse's sense of well-being, leading to relationship problems, burnout, and other difficulties.

So, for example, help her with day-to-day tasks at home or help your wife organize her time alone by taking up childcare responsibilities on some days of the week.

Taking time apart from other family members can also be beneficial to self-care. For example, if your spouse works from home, assist her in designating specific sections of your home as "work and study" and "relax" zones to help relieve tension and relax. Encourage your children and other family members to do the same.

Be Her Most Significant Emotional Supporter

Emotional support is one of the essential aspects of a healthy, meaningful relationship. Establishing a conscious relationship with your partner contributes to your sense of well-being and purpose in life. It allows you to connect deeper, overcome challenges, and grow as individuals and as a couple.

According to Dr. John Gottman's concept of emotional bids, turning toward each other's emotional bids for connection creates a deposit in an "emotional bank account."

Every positive interaction with our partners adds value to our emotional bank account, reminding us of the positive feelings we share with our partners. In addition, when we are under a lot of pressure, our emotional bank account savings greatly minimize the risk that these pressures will produce considerable emotional distress.

Emotional support could strengthen your relationship, make you feel closer to each other, improve your mental health, and help you get through hard times.

Keep Up with Physical Intimacy

A deep physical closeness does not have to be limited to sex. Holding your girlfriend's hand, rubbing her back, listening to her attentively, or snuggling for an additional hour on Sunday morning are great ways to express your love and deepen your relationship.

Appropriately Respond to Her Love Language

Dr. Gary Chapman, an American author, speaker, and counselor, introduced the term "five love languages" in his 1995 book The 5 Love Languages to describe how couples meet one another's needs for affection and connection.

Dr. Chapman believes that five major ways of expressing and receiving love involve:

  • Words of affirmation

  • Giving gifts

  • Acts of service

  • Spending quality time together

  • Physical contact

Different people communicate love in different ways. Typically, most of us favor one love language over others. However, relationship issues can arise from differing ways partners want to express and receive love. For example, if you show your love in ways your partner doesn't understand or like, she might miss your love signals and not feel supported.

Finding out your partner's love language (and your own) can help you understand each other better, bring you closer, and make your partner feel cared for.

Boost Her Confidence

A supportive partner helps his spouse build confidence in her skills. Tell your partner you are proud of her when she accomplishes something and encourages her when facing a challenge.

Being empathetic and supportive may go a long way toward making your partner feel genuinely seen and enhancing your relationship.


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