How to Be The Dad You Want to Be During COVID-19
In many ways, the last three or four months have been the most challenging times to be a parent. They have been demanding in so many different ways on parents, from financial stress, dealing with working at home with other family members, stress about health of your family, kids and extended family, and worry about the state of the world. It’s been especially hard on those parents trying to educate their kids at home, while keeping their kids engaged and not completely bored.
It may feel really difficult right now to be the best parent that you can to your kids, but it really is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have some close contact with your kids where you might not have been able to do before. There probably won’t be another time in your kids’ lives where we’re shut down and shut out of regular living, and can use that as an opportunity to bond with your kids. Even as society opens up again, it can still feel really difficult right now to be the best dad, husband and employee you can be. You may still be in shut down and have your kids at home with you this summer, at least until the fall if their school opens or not.
You may even be working from home, on a temporary or on a permanent basis, and are trying to figure out how to manage the household dynamics in the everyday. Learning how to manage and navigate in your household has probably been an exercise in creativity. If you’re married or partnered, you and your partner have probably come up with certain systems to be able to work with, and around, your kids, educate them, and really just try to all get along under the same roof and not lose your minds.
If you can mitigate the boredom that will inevitably arise with your kids, especially if you’re living in a warm climate like Phoenix, they’re probably housebound and have already become bored. Finding structure for them, aside from their studies and activities, may really be helpful for both your kid and yourself.
Creative Parenting During COVID
A lot of dads that I’ve talked to have designed fun, low-key activities to do with their kids that help alleviate boredom for all. They have been able to come up with things like mock camping at the park, chalk art drawing sessions on the sidewalk, and gardening together. Some dads go on scavenger hunts, or set up pool-based activities with their kids (we’re in summer in Phoenix now). Some dads I talked with have cooked meals with their kids, even adult kids that are back from college, and been able to share family experiences that might not have been possible before. This can also help take some of the load off of your significant other, as they are inevitably feeling the effects of the same issues that you are.
As far as educating your kids at home, that may be something that you are more or less interested in doing. It’s probably quite a burden on you and your spouse, considering that you were not formally trained in education, and that you’re trying to keep your job going at the same time if you’re working from home. Hopefully, you and your spouse have come up with creative strategies to keep your kids educated, or at least to keep them doing minimal homework and keeping them somewhat engaged.
I’ve been working with one dad that has given their kids a research project of their choice, to find one topic of interest and write an essay on that. I’ve had other dads use historical events now as a way to start dialogs with their kids around racial injustice, pandemics, and how society has taken to all of this. It’s definitely a historic time, and what better way to help your kids understand everything that starting dialogues with them?
Now’s the Right Time To Bond With Your Kids
The main idea is that there is no excuse to not spend quality time with your kids, either alone with them or as a family. Your kids are going to be grown-up at some point sooner than you think, and you may end up regretting or missing out on the time that you could’ve spent together. No other moment in time and history will afford you these opportunities, where your kids are home for a long stretch of time, so take advantage of them as best as you can.
It may also be a good opportunity for you to bond with your kids by asking them questions about themselves and really getting to know the people that they are becoming. If you have teenagers or older kids, it might be a great opportunity for you now to spend some quality time with them to get to know them. Now that some stores and shops are open, you may be able to take your kid out for lunch or for a coffee drink, and really try to prioritize the time that you have with them before school gets back in. It may really help to improve your relationship with them if you were looking to do so.
If you’re interested in knowing more about good parenting or how to be a good father to your kids, or if therapy for parenting issues could be right for you, please feel free to contact me or visit my men’s counseling page here.
