The Epidemic of Male Loneliness: Why Do So Many Men Feel Lonely?

According to a recent Cigna study, loneliness has reached epidemic proportions in the United States. In addition, studies draw attention to the fact that many American men are lonely, especially after COVID-19 made it hard for them to have regular social interactions.

It seems that men are lonelier than women. But why do so many males feel isolated and friendless? 

The necessary measures of social distancing and quarantine increased feelings of loneliness and isolation among men. Because males typically connect through social activities such as work, sports, or hobbies, it is not surprising that cutting these off would increase loneliness.

However, if you are an American man, you may also feel lonely for a number of other reasons.

Why Do American Men Feel Lonely?

Urban Isolation in an Individualistic Society

Research shows that people in individualistic countries (among which the US scores the highest) generally report a greater sense of loneliness.

Unlike collectivist societies (where individuals are integrated into strong, cohesive groups, typically extended families), individualist societies have loose ties between individuals and groups.

It is believed that increased feelings of loneliness in individualistic societies are linked to socioeconomic development, increased education, increased social mobility, a shift toward white-collar jobs, and urbanization.

Most men in developed countries marry later. They also work longer hours, spending their free time with their families, not friends.

In addition, individualistic cultures stress independence, autonomy, and self-sufficiency, encouraging men to pursue personal development, put their own needs first, and compete with each other. At the end of the day, such a mindset can take its toll on interpersonal relationships and mental health.

Social Media

While intended to link us closer together, technology and social media contributed the loneliness epidemic. For example, studies show that people who spend more than two hours daily on social media are twice as likely to feel left out and isolated.

We have forgotten how to be with ourselves and one another. There is constant pressure to filter every aspect of our lives and seek validation on social media. Simultaneously, we find it difficult to engage in meaningful conversation with a friend, colleague, or neighbor.

So, despite their intention to connect us, social media platforms lack the human touch that comes with face-to-face interactions, leaving us feeling lonely, anxious, and depressed.

Furthermore, more time spent online means less time meeting real people and developing friendships.

Male Stereotypes

In Western societies, males are raised to be goal-oriented high-achievers. At the same time, women are taught to build and maintain social connections. 

Masculine norms teach men to be tough, brave, and independent from the earliest age. Due to such a mindset, most men fear being perceived as weak or vulnerable, preventing them from reaching out to social contacts and deeply connecting with others.

How Does Loneliness Affect Mental Health and Well-Being?

Loneliness and isolation can result in both mental and physical illnesses. Loneliness has long been linked to mental health problems such as increased stress, anxiety, depression, sleep problems, and low self-esteem.

A lack of meaningful social contact can make you feel lonely and detached from others. As a result, you might not have a sense of purpose in your life, and you might also feel helpless and angry.

Also, you may experience social anxiety and find it challenging to engage in social interactions and everyday activities with other people.

Even so, there is more and more evidence that being lonely can have adverse effects on your physical health too.

Cortisol, a stress hormone, is one of the most important neurochemicals linked to depression. When we are stressed, our bodies produce more cortisol, which impacts our thoughts, mood, and behavior. 

Specifically, studies show that lonely people's brains produce more cortisol. Increased levels of this brain chemical can eventually lead to serious illnesses such as cancer, diabetes, hypertension, and other health issues.

In addition, loneliness is a key indicator of social well-being. Left untreated, loneliness can lead to societal problems and addictive behaviors.

According to research, men are more likely than women to keep their problems to themselves rather than seek professional help. It also appears that males generally choose to self-medicate and engage in risk-taking behaviors.

Many men use alcohol and pills, gaming, sports gambling, and other addictive behaviors to cope with loneliness, anxiety, and depression.

At the same time, reports show that male suicide rates continue to rise at an alarming rate.

Therefore, an open debate on men’s loneliness is necessary. It is essential to intervene and address male loneliness to avoid the health and social problems linked to this phenomenon and to keep men's mental health in good shape.

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